I Will Support You Until You Kick Me Out

I'm part of many online triplet mom support groups.  My membership in each group usually lasts until I am kicked out for being too "supportive".

I have found that my interest in answering the same baby questions over and over and over and over has waned over the years, but I do enjoy momma drama so I stick around and answer the questions over and over and over and over just to stay in the drama loop.

Here's what I've learned over the years from hanging out in triplet mom support groups.

• If you don't go insane when they are infants, you'll be a lunatic when they are toddlers.
• The people who do go insane when they are infants, handle the toddler stage better.
• Everyone goes insane with triplets. 
• People who have help are less likely to be insane for extended periods.  
• People who are control freaks go the most insane.
• It's not unusual for people to have marital problems after they have triplets.
• It's not unusual for people to have financial problems after they have triplets.
• Its' not unusual for people with triplets to be in denial about their mental, financial, and marital problems.
• No triplet mother will admit that having infant triplets really, really, really sucks.  
• You will be profoundly changed from the experience and you will have a bond with the people who were in the trenches when you were, even if you thought you hated them at the time.  

So with this blueprint, I can generally get a feel for what stage of psychosis or denial people are in when they post, or which clique they are in based on the age of their children.  Sleep deprivation and caffeine addiction makes for some good drama.

We've had a lot of marital problem posts lately.  It just goes with the territory.  Stress.  Money.  Loss of your life as you knew it.  It would put a strain on even the best marriage.  Greg and I were at each other's throats the first year.  It was really rough.  I always chime in and say, yes, it sucks, I get it, and it will get better as the kids get older, so stick it out.  Buy some help if you can.

That's my standard response.

But then there's always the moms that are in denial, or haven't gone insane yet because they like the infant stage and they have yet to have three screaming, tantrum-throwing, defiant toddlers, so they are clueless to what awaits them around the corner, as they gaze lovingly at their precious, immobile, contained babies and wonder what is wrong with these mothers of toddlers?  They will never feel like that.  Never.  Everything is great.  It's great.  It's great.  It's great.  UNTIL IT'S NOT!

We had a mom go out of her way last week to post in our triplet support group that she wanted to give perspective to everyone else in a struggling marriage and show everyone you can have a "happy ending".  Her children are six months old and she's been married 4.5 years.  To give support to the other mothers, she posted this picture of her new convertible.

She wrote this.  I'm leaving in all the typos just so you can see what I have to read daily.

I know totally off topic... But has to post. As I read on here many times about marriages struggling and the stresses if being a parent. I have to put something positive. My marriage started to thrive even more after our babies came home. Maybe it was the fact it was like a project that brought us closer together. And sharing the love and joy of being a parent. My husband sees and knows I work my ...butt off everyday making sure our 7 kids are happy, healthy, and well balanced good kids. So this last week.... He bought me my dream car. Yes it's not practical. But it's been something I've seen and wanted since I was a child. Some people want boob jobs. Lol I wanted a little convertible. We appreciate and respect each other. And try to make each others dreams come true. Sure there's been bumps along the way. But marriages are a daily effort. As much a necessity as a baby needs a diaper change. Lol just made me think and appreciate more what I have. And it's not only some of you ladies on here struggling with their marriages. It's a few of my closest friends to who have been married for 10+ years... And it's saddening. Breaks my heart when the people I love are hurting so bad. I know completely off trio topic. But we should all count our blessings in our lives. Triplets can be stressful. The amount of work throw at us nearly overnight (delivery) lol is huge. But we are strong women and men... They are a miracle and such a blessing. Hope u all have a great day:0

Then when people questioned how she could be so darn happy, this was her response.

On weekends we do get to sleep in. We have a night nanny that on weekdays she comes midnight to 7am. And weekends 11pm to 10am. So we can have a little luxury of feeling normal. Lol with rest at night I'm able to move mountains during the day. Lol b-12 also helps energy levels. We have the injectable type that works amazing. Once to twice a week. In the tummy. The babies are all on a routine. So that helps to. We also have a live in nanny that does 85% housework. I do the deep cleaning and organizing. We all play a roll so that the burden isn't solely on one person. And ultimately I'm happy with my life. I fill fulfilled. I get tired every so often. But on weekends I get a couple extra hours of sleep... And really that's the key. Get plenty rest. Our night nanny has been worth every dime. And at $10 an hour.. It's actually not bad. With our live in nanny at $600 a month.

Okay, are you still with me???????????????????  She has a night nanny and a live-in nanny.  Who wouldn't be happy if 85 PERCENT OF THE HOUSEWORK WAS DONE AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WATCH YOUR OWN KIDS??????

Then this was my response, because I always try to be supportive in my support groups.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA!!!! Good goddamn. I haven't laughed so hard in a week. I'd be pretty happy with a nanny, a night nurse, and new car, too. Hot damn. The secret to happiness is a lot OF MONEY! Who knew????? Slap my ass and call me Sally! SIGN ME UP!

This right here, folks, is why I'm a jealous hater lady.  But I will support you.  Right up until you throw me out.  Let's all ride off into the sunset in our convertibles, shall we??????  I'll be your Thelma, Louise.