Flying Under The Radar

After 5 years and 1,000,000 pageviews, I have taken my blog out of the Google search engines.   I am going to remain public, but because of my increasing readership and placement in Google, I feel like I have to censor what I'm writing all the time to avoid keywords that lead too many people to my blog.

I love that over the last few years, I've been able to spread the word about dental scams, magazine sales scams, pediatric brain tumors, hydrocephalus, etc., etc.  I get emails on old blog posts all the time.

One, in particular, was from a mom whose child was just diagnosed with a tectalglioma, Austin's rare tumor, and she had found me by Googling.

I also get tons of hits on my blog for erythma multiforme, the severe allergic reaction Amanda had to the antibiotic, Omnicef.   People download the picture of her back too because it's a textbook case, according to her allergist.

When I wrote about my friend Joselle's daughter's rare genetic disorder, Kabuki Syndrome, I got emails from people from around the globe, directing Joselle to support groups.  People who stumbled in because I used the right keywords.

Every holiday season, I get emails on the post I wrote about Slovak nut roll, thanking me for posting it and telling me stuff like, "My grandmother was Slovak and she made this every year! God bless you for sharing."

The biggest search that stumbles people in here are all posts I've written about red dye 40.

But I'm done now.  I hang up my activist hat and pass the torch on.  Lately, I feel I am censoring my keywords to avoid Google detection so much, that I am no longer free to write about anything, which is defeating the purpose of why I really blog, which is to chronicle our life, bounce ideas off all of you, get your opinions, share mine, and form friendships.  .

If I was blogging for money or self-promotion, taking my blog out of the search engines would be financial suicide.

How will I ever live without the $600 I made ALL LAST YEAR?

So now that I can blog candidly, watch out.  Flying under the radar might be fun.  I'm going to give it a whirl.

Where I Go All Cosmic On You

We started our Arizona road trip yesterday by stopping by Montezuma castle to check in on the ancient dwelling of the Sinagua people.  My nephew and his BFF were completely mesmerized by the ingenuity of the Arizona native people to the point of almost being comatose.

It still looks the same!  My sister and I used to visit this place when we were kids.

We then zoomed over to Sedona to check out the Bell Rock vortex.

Thank goodness my sister has a constitutional parking placard so we could get a good parking spot.

We all steeled ourselves for the amazing energy to envelop us.  

I'm almost certain if we didn't have to jump out of the way of the crazy mountain bikers the entire time we were hiking, we would have found our inner peace.

We didn't find the energy, but we did find the twisted junipers, which is PROOF that the vortex exists, gosh darn it.

Then we drove into Sedona, which is a really fun, kooky, artsy town.

In Arizona, wild pigs are called javenlinas, Leslie.  We decorate them with leis and fancy clothes.  

Right after I took this picture, the lady of the Bohemian clothing shop behind us dropped a wooden box and it broke open, spilling out her pendulum and her spirit rock.  It was devastating.

I was devastated that I didn't buy Jerry this t-shirt.

Then I could not decide if I should do this, or not.

I am just way too conservative and went with a Starbuck's venti iced mocha instead.  I am certain it made my aura stronger.

I totally believe this!!!!

It's too bad we didn't stay the night there, because I would like to go on a UFO tour before I die.

I don't want anyone to feel disappointed that I still haven't had a spiritual awakening.  I DID!

Now I'm heading home today.  Greg is leaving tomorrow for 12 days to drive from Detroit to San Francisco with his childhood friend, to deliver an electric prototype car to some sort of show or convention or something, which I'm not entirely clear on, then take it back to Detroit, which means I have two Saturdays to get through with double headers.

I need to channel a clone.

I Am Channeling Lucy

I made it to Scottsdale yesterday after a completely uneventful and delightfully silent five hour car ride, enjoyed dinner out, and then got a complete makeover in my sister's salon.

Today, we are loading the car up and heading to Sedona to hike to a vortex.

If you don't know what that is, then you definitely haven't lived in Arizona during the 1990s and gotten in touch with your New Age self.   Here is what this website says about the energy in the Sedona vortexes.

We have personally found the energy centers at Sedona both exciting and growth inspiring. If you are at all sensitive to the more subtle things, the experience of standing at one of these vortexes, and letting the energy flow into you and through you, can be almost overwhelming. People come from all over the world to experience this

Ohmygosh, or from Las Vegas.  I am expecting a full on metaphysical awakening.  Heh.  

Here was a review of Sedona on Yahoo.

Sedona is possibly the most beautiful area in the world and is certainly our favorite. As believers in Christ Jesus, we are saddened that it has become a center for the occult, with the supposed "vortexes," etc

We are hiking to Bell Rock Tower tomorrow, a well known vortex.

You will notice that the energy is strong as soon as you get out of your car. You don't have to do any climbing to feel the energy at this vortex. Notice the twisted Juniper trees all over Bell Rock. The energy at this vortex is very powerful and strengthens all three parts: the masculine side, the feminine side, and the balance.

No climbing to feel the energy?  That's what I'm talking about.  

I realize there are people who take this stuff very seriously.  I am not one them.  Neither are any of the teenagers going with us, but I am prepared for some serious positive hilarity today.  When I am not opening myself up to the energy fields in the universe,  I am channeling Lucille Ball for sure when I'm on the vortex. 

I just noticed my blog counter and sometime yesterday, my blog hit 1,000,000 page views.  It's too bad I didn't realize that was going to happen, or I would have picked up the lucky one millionth pageviewer some magnets and crystals while I was in Sedona.  Thanks for reading anyway!!!!

Oh, BROTHER!

This is what it is like to have a brother when you are trying to do a performance.

I can remember when Gregory learned to roll at 5 months old and he would roll from Sarah to Amanda and take their pacifiers to hear them scream.  He was Baby B, too, stuck right in the middle of the girls from the time he was conceived.  I bet he bothered them before he was even born.

Take 1.



I have no idea why Amanda is wearing leggings under a long skirt.  She dressed herself.  Dressing like you belong in a polygamist community comes naturally to her.

Take 2, after Greg banished the boys to the house. The kids are performing at Moms and Muffins. I'm not supposed to know about it.



Gregory is a clone of his father. This video is classic Greg. He misses every shot until he tells Sarah he gets all her piggy bank money if he makes it.



It's probably a good thing Greg never had sisters.

I am off for a very short trip to Phoenix today.  Our spring break is not until the end of April this year, but my sister and her kids are off this week, and I'm sure her pre-teen and teenager can't wait to spend it with their Auntie.

I'm on my way, kiddos.  Text and FB all your friends!!!

Childhood Obesity: A Random Act

We were so lucky the winds died down yesterday because the kids had their jump rope flash outside at a park.

Would you believe no malls in Las Vegas would let the kids jump rope in them?  I can.  I didn't think they would and every single one turned us down.  I figured there would be a liability issue with innocent shoppers getting hit with a long rope.

So the sponsor switched us to a park.  The kids hid at various points, then came running from all directions while Van Halen's, Jump, blasted.

For reasons that fail me, Austin took scissors yesterday and cut big chunks out of his hair.

This event ended up being so much fun for the kids.  It was worth all those mornings in the freezing cold (like 60 degrees, brrrrrrrrr) and wind.

I can't wait to see how it all turns out on video!

We have the coolest P.E. teacher ever.  All the extra stuff my kids get to do at school is because our P.E. teacher comes in on her own time and makes all these great activities available for all the students.  She is an incredible person and she really believes in getting kids outside and active.  

This video was shot to promote fitness and a healthy lifestyle for children in our county, which  happens to be something I am 100 percent behind.  We are at a point in history where our children may not live as long as us due to obesity.  Thirty percent of children are overweight and it will be an awful burden for our children's generation.  Childhood obesity is taking a terrible toll on the health of young people.  

Here was a great article in the Washington Post about how obesity effects every organ in a child's body.  

My kids were born all over the genetic map for size and weight since Greg and I have the exact opposite builds.  Austin's BMI has hovered right at the 85th percentile since he was two, which puts him at risk of being overweight in the future.  I discuss this with his doctor at every well check.  He has Greg's build and stature and Greg has been battling his weight since he was a toddler. 

How am I keeping Austin's BMI healthy?  I do not offer snacks.  He rarely asks for snacks, so I just don't offer them.  He drinks water with most of his meals.  He generally has milk once a day at breakfast and we only occasionally drink juice. I limit his helpings.  He will literally shove four giant slices of pizza into his mouth in one sitting (and if you know us in real life, you know I'm not kidding). . He can literally eat more than me at a meal, so I am not afraid to tell him he's done.  I limit his helpings.  We only occasionally have fast food.  I limit his screen time and I have him in a lot of physical activities, which right now includes swimming twice a week, jump rope, and soccer.   He plays outside for a minimum of 2 hours a day.   

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that if I had unhealthy eating habits, Austin would be gigantic. You have never in your life seen a child eat as much as he can.  It's like he was born with the inability to know he is full.  Greg is the same way.  I've always said he would have made a great caveman.   He could have eaten an entire wooly mammoth and stored the fat during the famine.  But that doesn't really work for our modern lifestyle, now does it?   

So far, so good, with setting limits and encouraging physical activity and healthy eating with Austin.   His BMI has stayed right below the 85th percentile and now he's sprouting up!  YEAH!   If you want to check your own child's body/mass index, click here.  

Boy, that was exhausting.  I better take it easy today.  :)

Somebody Cares

On Wednesday night, the PTA president called me at home and told me she had scheduled a photo shoot for all board members on Thursday morning at 9:30am.  We are going to be in the yearbook.  I'm sure the children will be THRILLED.  I know when I was in school, I loved to look at pictures of adults I didn't know.

I'm in a horrible ugly phase right now, so that made getting ready for pictures unpleasant.  I have roots.  I have no face products.  I'm out of mascara.  I got up at 5:30 to give myself enough time to get ready to be in a photo nobody will look at.  I carefully selected a nicer black outfit, not that anyone will care.

As I started walking down the street with the kids, Greg came out of the house wearing only gym shorts, causing Jerry to whoop and holler from across the street.  He told me that the photo shoot had been cancelled, but conveniently rescheduled for Friday.

OH, GOODIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I got up yesterday at 5:30 and started the process all over.  Except I had to be at jump rope at 8am, where I stood in gale force winds for an hour before school started.

Imagine how silly I felt when one of our board members -- a man --  arrived for the photo shoot, unshaven and in gym shorts.

When I left the photo shoot, I went home and put on sweats and a sweatshirt.  This wind is making me so cold all the time.  I just want Hotter Than Hell to get here.  Yes, I said it.  Remind me in July.  

I went back to pick the kids up after school in my sweats.

"Didn't you get your picture taken today?", Amanda asked.

"Yes."

"OHMYGOSH, Mom.  Did you go LOOKING LIKE THAT?", she gasped.

Someone cares!!!!  I guess this means I have to buy a yearbook now.  Drats.  

Who Says There Is No Inflation?

Grand Traverse Bay 2004

Holy cow.  The economy must be coming back in Michigan because rentals are way, way, way more in Traverse City than last year and totally booked.

I'll have to search my blog later, but I was thinking we paid $1000 a week for the Hippie House last year.  Now the cheapest rental we can find is $1500 a week for a condo.  With gas at $3.50 a gallon, that will make a one week vacation cost as much as a two week vacation last year.

Can someone call Bernanke and tell him that inflation is not stable?  Who does he think he's fooling?

Meanwhile, the kids have been drawing maps and getting out their scrapbooks.  They are ready to go to Michigan right now and I don't know how to break it to them that we might not be going at all.  Remember the crying last year?




These kids are going to be in for a rude awakening someday when they realize most people don't just take off on month long summer vacations every year.

Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret. When Can I Get Out Of My Carseat?

This was me in the front seat of my mom's VW in 1970

I've been so busy lately,  I am a couple days late commenting on the AAP's new recommendation that children stay in booster seats until they are twelve or 4ft 9in.

Are you there, God?  It's me, Margaret.  I know I finally got my period, but could you tell me when I get out of my carseat?

Our state law requires kids be in boosters until they are six and sixty pounds.  That's a six year difference, so we will not be following the new recommendation.  My kids are the last ones of their same-aged peers at school in boosters.  I don't think all of their friends weigh 60 pounds yet, but none of their parents still have them in boosters which already makes for strange carpools when I ask other kids to get in a booster.

Gregory's BFF told me he hasn't been in a baby booster for a year.

I have no doubt it is safer to stay in a booster until you are twelve, but it is not going to be practical for our family.  You guys, of course, can do whatever you feel is best for your own children.

Can you imagine showing up in middle school with your 12 year old kid in a carseat in my neighborhood?  Kids in our zoned middle school look like they should be extras in a movie about gangs.  Talk about the surefire way to get your kid's ass kicked.

Clearly, unless our law changes in our state, people are not going to willingly put their tweens back in carseats.  

But what a boon for the carseat manufacturers, who will obviously make a ton of dough on tighter restrictions should the states jump on board with the AAP's new recommendation.  I'm sure the carseat manufacturers don't have anything to do with this, so I'm looking at purchasing carseat stock.  Interestingly, Britax was bought out by Nordic Capital in a hostile takeover in November.  Here was a fascinating tidbit in Reuters.

Britax, which was bought by the Carlyle Group for 230 million pounds five years ago, has maintained strong sales, helped by tougher rules on the use of car seats, especially in emerging markets. Carlyle has made a 2.5 to three times return on its investment.

I just follow the money.  If you want to figure out why someone is telling you to do something, follow the money.

Speaking of gangs and future gang members though, in the last week, Lerayshaun has thrown a child with an arm cast on the ground, then stomped on his cast.  He's tripped Gregory in computer lab and stabbed Little Peanut with a pencil in her neck.  He's a real peach.  Maybe if I keep helping him, he will show mercy to my kids in a few years and not kick their scrawny butts on the playground.

Unless, he sees them in carseats in fifth grade.  Then I'm pretty sure we are doomed.

Are you there, God?  It's me, Margaret.  Can we restrain Lerayshaun in a carseat during class so we all don't become human projectiles?

Save The BALLS!

This is Greg's attempt at saving our soccer balls from our saguaro cactus.  This cactus is treacherous.  When we planted it 15 years ago, it was only as high as my knee and saguaros are only supposed to grow a couple inches a year.  Saguaros aren't supposed to live here at all, actually.  Saguaros are indigenous to the Sonoran desert, not the Mojave, so this cactus was supposed to freeze and die.  It did not.   Instead, it has ruined every single ball we have ever bought.

Greg is talking about taking it out.  I don't know.  I love saguaros, but the kids need to be able to practice in the backyard and I cannot afford to buy new balls every week.    I think we should video Greg moving it to a new location.

Although Jerry has moved out of the neighborhood, he still works for Bob and I still see him every day.  I mean, every single day.   You wouldn't believe the stuff he's been leaving on our doorstep this week.  Sarah is absolutely smitten with the typewriter he left a couple of days ago.  She is typing a story about a parrot.  It never occurred to me to let her use a word processor on the computer.  Unless someone still sells typewriter ribbon, we will have to move to new technology.

Co-pilots in their new airplane

My sister called yesterday with scary news about a childhood friend of ours.  His wife was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor five years ago.  She lost her health insurance after diagnosis and couldn't get insured again, so she missed an MRI.  When she finally got insured and got an MRI, it had grown back twice as big as before and they are waiting on the MRI results to see if it is malignant now.

This news was terribly unsettling for me.  I try not to think about Austin's brain tumor in between MRIs but it is already that time again.  He gets his annual MRI in May.  Until I talked to my sister yesterday, I actually forgot about it.  I'm only six weeks out now.  I need to get a new referral and start jumping through all the necessary hoops to make that happen on time.

I need to never let my guard down.  That's the lesson I got yesterday.  Never let my guard down.  Never miss an MRI.  Never lose your insurance.

I looked at him yesterday and I was so overcome with love for him that I felt like someone pulled my heart out of my body.  If anything ever happened to him, I don't know how I would survive it.  I love him so much.  He is such a good kid and a remarkable person.  He brings joy to me every single day.  I cannot tell you how much I love hanging out with him every day.

In other medical news, if you are a Las Vegan and watch the news, you might have seen all the coverage on Dr. Michael Kaplan, the urologist who got busted reusing biopsy needles.  According to his medical license suspension, he only stopped using the needles when they got "too bloody".  You would not believe how many people we know, directly and friends of people we know, who used him.  He was considered the top surgeon in his field in Las Vegas.  He came highly recommended.

He saved $10 per patient by reusing the dirty biopsy needles.   What a BASTARD.

For the record, I make anyone getting ready to poke Austin show me the needle in the package.  I also make the anesthesiologist show me the single use vial.  I am just that leery.

I don't think you can trust anyone anymore.

On that somber note, I am off to jump rope.  SOB.

Smoke And Mirrors

Which egg is from a happy chicken?

Can you tell which egg was from my chicken and which egg is store bought in this photo?  Guess.

I would like to introduce everyone to my chicken named Fabulous.

Every time I go back to feed everyone, she flies up and jumps on my arm.

This horrible wind is messing with my feathers, Mom.

Then she sits there and eats before everyone else.

I can walk around the whole backyard with her on my arm.  Geez, I never thought about it, but I sure hope she doesn't crap on my arm.  She was the cute little striped brown chick I got back in December in the box of chickens the Craigslist guy left at my house.  I've never had a chicken so tame and friendly.  She's like a parrot.  She's also fabulous.

Here's Fabulous when she was just a babe. 

I intentionally cropped my face out of all these photos.  Since it's my blog, I try to only post flattering pictures of myself, while making sure to post bad pictures of my sister, so I look younger and better.  But lo and behold, I ran out of the face products my sister has me using, and I realized that if it weren't for her, I would look 83 years old.

So I am driving to Phoenix on Monday for an immediate overhaul and have her fill up all my jars with her magic potions.  When you get over 40, it's all smoke and mirrors.  I was going to fly and checked on a flight from Vegas to Phx on Southwest and it was $291.  GOOD GRIEF.   That is just totally unacceptable.  I can drive there for around a $100.  My sister does my hair for free and fills up my jars for wholesale because she loves me, so it is totally worth the trip.  If I had to pay retail for my hair and products, it would cost almost $500.  Does this mean I'm high maintenance?

Back to eggs.  Did you know they are making counterfeit eggs in China and passing them off as real eggs?  They are made from industrial waste and they are making people sick if they unknowingly buy them and eat them.



You have to wonder how it is cheaper to do all this than have actual chickens?  It's all smoke and mirrors, I tell you.

Stirring The Pot

It's hard to believe we only have 2.5 months of first grade left.  I am still at a loss for placement next year.  Split all three?  Split Amanda from Gregory/Sarah?  Keep them all together?  It's such a tough call since they all get along fine inside the classroom.

Amanda was recently moved up to Gregory's reading group.  Her reading has progressed so rapidly in the last few months, it is hard to believe she was ever the child I thought would never read.  I think she has actually surpassed Gregory in reading comprehension now.  Her writing is also progressing rapidly.  Sarah is in the most advanced reading group.  Their group now has a book club and they read independently in class and then do book reports.

Gregory has become obsessed with a calculator at home and spends a lot of time figuring out math equations.  He got a science journal from the treasure box at school and walks around drawing pictures and then makes observations in his journals.

The kids planted a lima bean at school and came home with their lima bean plants on Friday.  Greg helped them plant the seedlings right after school.  They all broke in half in the wind and blew away yesterday.  You should have heard the crying.  They have no idea how lucky they were that they didn't have to eat lima beans. They should have been clapping.

They finished learning about contractions a couple weeks ago and moved on to compound words.  We played this game at home on compound words.  This is another one we used for contractions.  They also worked a lot with verb tenses recently on their Study Island homework.  That was actually tough.  Past, present, and future tense was a stretch for them at seven.   They had to figure out what verb should go into the sentence based on the context of the sentence.  I would guess they got it right 70 percent of the time.

 In math, they recently finished fractions and this past week they were working on skip counting and odd and even numbers.  I am still using IXL.com for math skills and I just love that website.  It seems to follow the exact curriculum they are learning at school, so when they bring home their math worksheets, I can go right to IXL and they can practice what they learned at school that day.  They were only skip counting 2s, 5s, and 10s at school.  IXL, which is more of a nationwide standard, also had them skip counting in 3s and 4s.

All three of them finally passed an addition test that required they answer 60 addition problems in five minutes.  Sarah was the last one to pass because she writes her 5s backwards when she is in a hurry and kept getting marked down for it.  It was tragic being the last one to pass.  You cannot imagine the drama.

They are getting vocabulary words each week now that they are supposed to use in a sentence.  Last week, one of their words was "stir".

Amanda said, "I like stirring the pot."  Just like my mother.

"No.", I told her, "The word is STIR.  You could say, 'I like to stir the pot.'"

"Uhm, NO, Mom.  Mrs D says we can totally use a suffix.", she huffed at me.

Well, OKAY THEN.  If you know what a suffix is in first grade, then by golly, USE IT.  I have a feeling their knowledge will surpass mine by third grade.

Austin is really starting to read now, but I think his kindergarten curriculum is completely missing writing this year.  Last year, the kids completely missed math, so it could be worse.  We started a journal at home, so I can work with him on forming sentences.   The only area he seems to be having trouble is with writing.  When the other kids are doing their homework on the computer and having trouble, he walks up behind them and gives them the answer.

"Stop helping your sister!", I'll scold him.

Amanda will actually call him over when she gets stuck on a math problem.  He is insanely good at math.  If they forget an addition or subtraction problem, he will yell it out before I can.

I spend most days feeling like I'm not doing enough with them.  Did we read long enough?  Should I have covered that subject more?  Did we practice our math problems enough?  Do they know their spelling words?  What am I missing?  AM I MISSING SOMETHING?

I Want To Be Fabulous

I spent four hours in 50 mile an hour wind gusts yesterday watching children chase balls around the field.

Then I looked at their schedule and I saw something that put the fear of God in me.  DOUBLE HEADERS?  Why didn't you guys tell about those?  There is one Saturday where I have to go to FIVE games!  Kill. Me. Now.



It was a long day for me yesterday in that kind of weather.  Greg helped me by staying for the rest of Gregory's game so I could get the girls home and out of the wind.  Then he stayed with all the kids when I took Austin back for his game in the afternoon. We've decided we will just divide and conquer.

I haven't mentioned it on my blog, but Bob is in love. Head over heels, fall down on your face in love.  With, get this, a showgirl.  And she is beautiful!  Everything you imagine when you think of a gorgeous, long-legged showgirl in full headdress, that is Bob's girlfriend.  All her friends are showgirls too and they've all been hanging out at Bob's house now.

So, yesterday, I went over to feed the chickens after all that soccer stuff, and Bob's girlfriend pulled me in the house for a glass of wine and to meet her friend.  Her friend's name is Fabulous.  In fact, the two showgirls named one of my new chickens, Fabulous.  Jerry was there, salivating over Fabulous and Bob was making smoked salmon.

I started telling the girls about my horrible day in the wind.  I looked like hell yesterday.

Fabulous looked at me, in full stage makeup, and said, "We were out in it all morning in our full costumes and headdresses."

They promote the hotel and show by standing in front of the casino in full costume.  So they were out in the 50 mile an hour gusts with GIGANTIC feathers on their heads and I'm complaining?   They even still looked FABULOUS.

Right at that moment, Bob sat down to serve dinner.  I've never mentioned it before, but despite the drunken orgies over there all the time, Bob is a pious man.

"Let us pray.", he said, urging us all to hold hands.

He always prays before dinner.

God help us all.

So this is how I found myself, drinking wine with showgirls, and praying yesterday.

"Dear Lord, please help me look more fabulous in spite of the wind.  Amen."

I need some feathers.

Celebrating Achievement

The kiddos got awards for getting straight As again yesterday.  Apparently, they do the award ceremony three times a year.

I'm really proud of them.  They are all doing a good job and I am so grateful.

This is the best picture I got of them, because gosh darn it if I wasn't more worried about one little boy who was heartbroken and crying his eyes out, than celebrating my own children's achievement.  It was SO SAD.

They bring all the kids in and sit them on the floor, then only the kids who make honor roll get to go on the stage, while the other kids have to watch from the floor.  This little guy was bawling his eyes out.   He kept looking around for his parents, but of course he didn't have any parents there because only the students who are getting an award have parents in attendance.

Then when everyone got up, he was paralyzed and couldn't even move and people were stepping on him.

It was just horrible.

Horrible, I tell you.

But, yeah US.  Right?   None of the other parents even seemed to notice the poor child.  Why do I focus on this stuff?

Speaking of horrible, we've got a giant storm front coming through right now with strong wind advisories.  The kids have games today at 9:20, 10:40, and 2:40.  ACK.

What Would Nancy Do?

The children came home from school yesterday and told me that a leprechaun had been in their classroom and had turned over their desks and chairs.  They had to find his hat and then they got to eat golden chocolate coins.

"Did you know leprechauns were REAL?", Amanda demanded to know.

If Leprechauns are little mischievous people who dress in green, then I believe they are real.

When I looked at these pictures, I couldn't believe we had so many weeds growing in our rocks.  Greg, the OCD yard keeper, has really let things go with all the work he's been doing lately.  Good grief.  I don't do yard work.

I told my sister and she told me I had my own work crew.  What was a I waiting for?  I don't know why I don't think of these things.  I wasn't much older than the kids when my bestfriend, Pam Beckwith and I, drug a lawnmower around the neighborhood and started cutting people's lawns for pizza and Pacman money.

I paid the kids each a dollar and they pulled all the weeds before dinner.

Then Sarah and I took them across the street and gave them to the chickens, who are deprived of all things green in the desert.  They eat anything green that we give them.  This pile will be gone today.  There isn't a weed in Bob's backyard.  It's just gravel.  They mow it right down and if it weren't for the heinous amounts of crud that comes out of their behinds, I'd be tempted to bring them over to my house to rid the backyard of weeds.   The old board in the picture is what I wave around, while screeching, "Yaw.  Yaw." at that wicked rooster, Matrix, who would give anything to spur my eyes out.  He attacks me nearly every day.  He's become very acquainted with the metal bowl I carry feed in.

WHACK!  SQUACK!  WHACK!  SQUACK!

Okay, here's my question for the day.  If you were missing a children's jacket, would you dare to look in one of the several piles strewn about school?  You should see the pile on the stage in the cafeteria.  SHUDDER.

Jacket composting pile

Or would you just write the jacket off as a complete loss?  I am afraid to even touch the dirty piles of clothing to see if it is in one of them.  I have a completely irrational fear of lice and bed bugs.  Gah.  I'm itching right now.

I wonder what my sister would do?

Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder

As insanely inconvenient it is to have the girls on one team and Gregory on a different soccer team, I cannot tell you how happy the girls are to be on an all girl team.  You wouldn't believe all the pink and squealing.  When you have different sex triplets, you have to make everything so unisex.

We are embracing our inner woman.

Sarah told me three times that she was having so much fun!

Even Amanda is loving it.

I would love it if someone would just turn off the wind.

You do not even understand wind and sand and dirt until you've lived in Las Vegas during the season of Wind, which falls in between Spring and Hotter Than Hell.  If you wear contacts here, it's like someone dumped a shovel of sand inside your eyelids and your contacts turn into sandpaper.  Since it never rains, the earth is just this parched, barren, dusty hellhole and it all becomes airborne.  I was talking to my friend Misti the other day while she was driving and she was telling me the tumbleweeds were pelting her car.

This was the view from my folding chair at soccer practice last night.

This brilliant young man had brought a parachute to the park and was trying to fly away in the wind.

You know it's windy when some fool tries to fly away in a parachute from a standing position.

Fly, little birdie, Fly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where do you suppose he was going to go if he got airborne?  Paris?  NewYork NewYork?

Can you even imagine how much blogging material I am going to get from the soccer park?  The possibilities are endless.  I think I'm really going to enjoy soccer/wind season.  A good chair, a cooler full of cold drinks, some eye goggles, and my camera, and I think I can survive this.