The Newest Scheme

I'm looking for a pop-up trailer on Craigslist.

Having done the motorhome adventure for a year after we sold our business, and subsequently selling that and buying a gigantic camper for our truck and traveling all around, I have learned that if you are going to RV, you must pull a vehicle.

Or you must have a vehicle and pull a trailer. You cannot be fully dependent to your motorhome or camper, or else you set up camp and you are stuck there. You can't run into town or go out and sight see without disassembling your campsite and stowing away everything. And when it's taken you 2 hours to get your bed level, so all the blood in your body doesn't settle in your brain, the last thing you want to do is start that process all over again.

So while I've only had a motorhome and camper that were fully self-contained, with every bell and whistle, I am now looking for a tent trailer to go camping in. Why? Why would I do that? Why not go with an RV, you say? Well, we still have four kids in boosters and the only way we could pull a car big enough behind a motorhome would be if we spent a 100 grand on a diesel pusher.

We couldn't even go with a fifth wheel unless Greg bought a new truck with a back seat. It only seats five.

But we could easily pull a pop-up with the van we have.

So I've been badgering Greg to find me a trailer so we can go to Zion and Yellowstone and Yosemite and Glacier National Park.

I want to hit the road with the kids next summer. I want to go to Utah and go camping in Bryce and go the Grand Canyon. I want to camp in the Black Hills and see Mt Rushmore.

I want to do it all!

Greg said we can do it all as long as the pop-up has air-conditioning and a shower.

So that is what I'm looking for. A tent with a/c so I can make my dream happen for less than 5000 dollars.

Do you own a pop-up? What do you hate about it? Tell me now so I can construct an elaborate story to persuade Greg why that doesn't matter.

Cocktail Hour Is After School, Not Before School

The kids had their Halloween party yesterday. I haven't talked about school lately, but I am so pleased. I like the kids. I like the teacher. They are actually learning some things, even if some of the other kids don't know their numbers or letters. There are kids in the morning class who had never seen a pencil or colored a piece of paper before. Can you believe our teacher has 32 kids in the morning class?

But my kids seem to really enjoy it anyway. Big Tall Kid and Sarah are the most advanced readers. Big Tall Kid is even further ahead than Sarah, and Mrs. P told me she isn't sure why he is even in kindergarten. He wrote a paragraph to the teacher in her birthday card, and he made sure to tell everyone he did it by himself. His dad looks like Jesus, if Jesus wore skinny jeans and black skull t-shirts. His mom has a Kate Gosselin haircut which is bright green, and she wears sparkly Madonna gloves with the fingers cut out.

Sarah has a crush on Big Tall Kid and she told me she wants to marry him and have eight kids. I'm looking forward to having gigantic smart grandchildren with the side benefit of being related to Jesus.

Gregory has become bestfriends with Preston. All four kids go to his house for a playdate once a week and he comes to our house once a week too. We had 40 mile an hour winds and a 30 degree drop in temperature on Wednesday, but that didn't stop him and Gregory from spending 2 hours outside.

They built a giant tree fort with the branches Greg had cut off our mesquite trees and hunkered down in it from the wind. Then they scaled the block wall and walked along it to steal pomegranates out of our neighbor's yard. They jumped down and pummeled them against the wall until they broke them open, then they dug the seeds out with their hands and ate them. Then they ran in and went out front and rode Gregory's motorized scooters all over the driveway, while Austin chased them on his Big Wheel.

I watched all of this from the comfort of my warm and not windy kitchen.

Greg asked if we were going to get sued if the child got hurt?

I told him that the first time I picked them up from the gigantic rambling house where Preston lives,with all his siblings and all their friends and the kids Preston's mom watches, we couldn't even find them. We eventually found them on the second story balcony in the East Wing, using a stick to try and touch the electrical wires, while throwing more sticks in the neighbor's backyard. The second time I picked them up, they were sweeping the bottom of an empty pool in the backyard, while Gregory scaled up the side like a spider.

Preston's mom told me that Preston came home from our house and told her it was the best day of his life.

Do you know how fortunate I feel that my kids are going to get the normal childhood experience of hanging out with neighborhood kids after school? I really didn't see that one coming in Las Vegas. Doing all that fun, crazy childhood stuff is the way I grew up and what I had hoped for them, but didn't know I could find here.

Amanda has like four boyfriends. The one she liked the most passed gas in class and she can't stand him now. She told me he is DISGUSTING. He didn't even say, "Excuse me." and he is gross. It's good to know that my future son-in-law will not have a farting problem.

A lot of parents volunteered for the Halloween party yesterday. I loved this. This guy fell asleep in his chair during story time.



One minute he was sitting there, and the next minute his head was bobbing and he started snoring. He was SITTING STRAIGHT UP. Shout out to my Uncle Frankie who can fall dead asleep while you are talking to him. I was kicking Preston's mom under the table. I eventually had to wake him up, because story time was over and he was sitting in front of my vegetable platters.

Dude. Cocktail hour starts AFTER school, not BEFORE school. Doesn't everyone know this? It's in the Parent Handbook.

We're Just Here For The Free Samples

Daddy is back.

He has had the kids out, roaming around in the mornings, for the last two days.

The first day they were out, the kids came home with Trader's balloons. Greg in Trader's? What? He never brings home any groceries from there.

So, yesterday, I asked Ana The Sample Gal, "Did you see my kids in here with a large hairy man?"

"Oh, yeah.", she said, "He comes in here with them all the time. They eat samples and then leave."

OH. MY. GOD.

"Do you take our kids in Trader's for snack time?", I accused him last night.

"Don't hate the players, Michele. Hate the game."

You guys have no idea what I go through over here. Seriously. Could I die?

As if going into stores just to eat samples isn't bad enough, he doesn't even comb their hair. When Sarah wakes up in the morning, she looks like Cousin Itt. I told Ana The Sample Gal to pretend like she doesn't know them. That's what I do.

When Greg was gone, I really didn't have time to buy or mix up any gluten free flour. I'm trying to stick with food that is naturally gluten free. So instead of buying gluten free bread or waffles, I eat an omelet for breakfast every morning now. I stick every vegetable I can find in it, then basically hold it together with the egg. This is so much healthier, anyway, than eating rice flour and retaining water all day.

I have gotten rid of all the wheat flour in our house though, and do need to keep flour on hand. I got rid of it because flour sticks to everything, and I was getting accidentally cross-contaminated in my own kitchen. So I figured it would be a better idea to rid the house of it.

We had a new Korean grocery store open right by where we live, so I took Austin in there to buy rice flour when the other kids were in school this week. Upon entering and being overcome with the smell of dried fish, Austin's eyes started watering, then he started having dry heaves.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! It stinks in here."

I had him stick his nose in his shirt to get through the place. He was miserable.

They were giving out a bunch of samples though, so maybe I should direct Greg there.

Greg is really not on board with not having flour in the house anymore and won't eat anything I make if it has my gluten free flour in it.

"Every time I eat your flour, I shit myself for 2 days. Can we get something made in America?", he asked me.

"Look on the bright side. You are getting a free colon cleanse.", I told him.

I wonder if the tapioca starch is making him have diarrhea?

I made the kids gluten free ghost pancakes, with pomegranate syrup, yesterday for breakfast.

I told Greg not to eat them, because it might scare the shit right out of him.

BOO!!!!

I don't know about you guys, but I've been bored to death while he was gone.

I Have Never Seen Anything Like This Before

I was going to write about something today, then I checked in on Finnskimo's blog and I have spent the last hour trying to figure out what in the heck she has.

I wrote about her a couple weeks ago. She is the Finnish Eskimo who lives in Northern Alaska. Right about the time I was writing about her, she got a blister on the bottom of her foot. Then it wouldn't heal and got worse and worse. Then it spread to her hands.

Here are what her hands look like. Brace yourself. Are there any nurses or doctors or dermatologists around?

She also presented with a fever and redness yesterday.

She flew down to Anchorage and was going to the ER yesterday. She cannot walk. She is in severe pain.

I tried Googling the heck out of this, and I'm coming up with a staph infection. This looks very serious to me and I sure hope Anchorage has a good hospital.

She needs some serious prayers today. Did anyone see my blog turning into a prayer chain?

I am praying somebody knows what in the heck she has. I have never seen anything like it in my life and keep checking her blog every 5 minutes to see if she has posted.

The Fundraiser

The kids have been in school for 2 months and we've had no less than 72 fundraisers already.

Why didn't anyone warn me?

Candles, cookie dough, magazines, and the infamous Entertainment Book full of coupons for food that will kill me.

If we sell just a few million of them, they can get a yogurt. Or a bracelet made in China. Then the school gets HALF of whatever we sucker people into buying.

So I just wrote a nice little check directly to the PTA and gave them back their books and forms. I don't need to turn my kids into multi-level marketers in kindergarten, and it's okay to give something without getting something in return. Like a big tub of flour and sugar and preservatives for 14 DOLLARS.

I have seen my future and it is bleak. Why doesn't anyone just say, "Hi parents. Look. I will cut you a deal. You give us some money, and we'll leave you alone. How does that sound? Can everyone chip in $30 or would you prefer to sell $60 worth of candles?"

The kids have other plans though.

"But Moooooommmmmmmmm. If we sell three, we get a yogurt."

"If you want a yogurt, go get one in the refrigerator."

The C Word

Greg's father, Bob, would have been 76 years old today. We lost him to lung cancer 5 years ago this month.

Austin was conceived the night before Bob died, which was Barb and Bob's 41st wedding anniversary. Austin truly is our miracle child in so many ways.

As you can imagine, this is a tough time of the year for Greg's mom. We looked at pictures of Bob last night and talked about him with the kids. Gregory is his spit and image as an infant and young child.



Amanda is very inquisitive about her grandfather and why he died. She wants to know why people get cancer? Why did Grampy get cancer? Why does God make cancer? Did we ask God to stop Grampy's cancer?

She floors me at times with her thinking process.

The thing is that I don't have any real answers for her. I just know that people I know keep getting cancer. Cancer is something I talk about almost every day. Cancer is effecting the lives of my friends and family.

Two weeks ago, my friend Jodie took her husband in for a pain in his abdomen. They did some bloodwork and sent him for a scan. His liver was bleeding. They sent him the next day for a colonoscopy. He has colon cancer, metastasized to the liver. He had no symptoms at all until his liver started hurting him, and he wasn't scheduled for another colonoscopy for 18 more months, when he turns 50.



Fred starts chemotherapy this week. Jodie and Fred are faithful Christians. Even though I have my own issues with faith, I know a lot of you are on a different page, and have a strong faith in God. Please pray for Fred. Please pray that God will heal him and please pray for Jodie, who is battling multiple sclerosis. They need our help. I have never asked for a lot from anyone who reads this blog, but I am just going to ask you now for your positive thoughts and prayers for this family. If you are the praying sort, then if you could add Fred and Jodie to your prayer list, I sure would appreciate it.

I have two friends now with husbands with cancer. Doesn't that seem impossible and how could that happen?

Cancer is the worst word I can think of these days. I hate it. I hate cancer. I want it to stop.

You Can Be Anything You Want

Before Greg went to Michigan, he took the kids out and bought their Halloween costumes. He told them they could be anything they wanted. As long as it was from the $12 rack at Walmart.

So we have a Transformer, a leopard, a vampiress, and an alien. My costume came from I Don't Know Where. It was in a big black bag in the shed. Stuff just shows up here. So I had a choice between being a cow or a flapper.

We are the most mismatched multiple's family ever.

In Triplet Land, families match. Families especially match on Halloween.

Here is my friend Laura's family.

Matching families make me get all warm and fuzzy.

Unless, they try to match that creepy children's show, Yo Gaba Gaba.

Here is my friend Joselle's family.

NOW THAT IS ONE SCARY ORANGE DUDE. I could barely sleep last night.

The kids had so much fun yesterday. If you still have younger multiples and you go to get-togethers and you never sit down or eat or have fun, I just want to tell you that it really does get better. I never even see my kids anymore. If you stick with your multiples group, these kids grow up together and they see each other and take off in a big band of children.

Amanda hung out with my friend Misti's triplet daughter the whole time we were at our picnic. Amanda has turned into a different child since she started kindergarten. I really cannot express to you how different she is now. She is so kind and pleasant and NOT needy. She doesn't cling to Sarah anymore. Watching her blossom on her own is just the most incredible thing ever.

This is seriously the best stage yet.

Somebody pinch me, because I survived to tell the story. Am I dreaming?

OMG. There is a big scary orange dude in my dream. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

We Own The Cake Walk

If your family has never won the cake walk, you just didn't have enough kids. We won a cake for the second year in a row. We own the cake walk. Gosh, finally, it pays off having a litter.



Reading some of the comments yesterday about how you can't say the "H" word, HALLOWEEN, anymore made me laugh when I realized that we not only still call it Halloween in Nevada.......



we can even shoot at stuff that depicts Halloween images at school! You wouldn't want to be the boy sitting in the back when my kids are shooting. They'll put your eye out.

There is still a sense of humor left here, I think.

And that totally works into my second ultimate life goal, behind Leisure: Having Fun And Not Getting All Pissy Over Every Single Thing In The Universe.

PB & S Anyone?

Would anyone like a peanut butter and syrup sandwich?

That's what we are going to be eating here for the next year.

Mmmmmmmmmmm....mmmmmmmm.....good.

"Mama says jelly supposed to be runny like honey, cuz that's how da bees do it."

Nothing like getting a gallon of syrup, instead of jelly, after you have wrecked your arm, legs, and feet, standing on the tile for 1110 hours.

I really couldn't ever BE Mormon, because if I was a pioneer woman, my family would have all starved to death AND DIED. We would have gotten stuck in the pass, like the Donner family, then I would have been forced to kill Greg and eat him because I wouldn't HAVE ANY JELLY.

I don't know what happened. I even got new pectin, thinking it was old, and STILL IT WON'T SET UP.

Now I have to go scavenge more pomegranates because I WILL NOT ACCEPT FAILURE.



Austin has a Halloween party in his little kindergarten prep class today. I have to have all four kids there to drop him off at 8am, in his costume. Then I volunteered to make and bring a vegetable platter, because I felt guilty that I have to bring THREE EXTRA KIDS to his party.

Nothing says Happy Halloween like a big head of cauliflower.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm.......Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......good.

"Mama says everyone eats cauliflower for Halloween, cuz that the color of a ghost."

Then they have a Halloween carnival this evening.

Then tomorrow we have our Multiples Halloween Party in the afternoon, followed by a Halloween party at my friend Laura's.

Then next week the older kids have a Halloween party on Thursday, which I have volunteered to do all the crafts. Austin has another Halloween party at the exact same time in his other preschool class, which Greg will be bringing napkins to.

Then on Friday, we are driving to Phoenix to go Trick or Treating with my sister.

Halloween is a four day weekend here because it is a STATE HOLIDAY.

So we have the following Monday and Tuesday off.

"Mama says that Halloween is da most important holiday of the year, cuz we get free candy and lots of time off school to celebrate SATAN."

I'm pouring my pomegranate syrup in some vodka tonight in honor of the Halloween TWO WEEK KICKOFF.

Are You Sure You're Not Mormon?

Now is the time in the desert to harvest pomegranates. You could literally walk around my neighborhood with a wagon and just go picking.

And we do.

Pomegranates make a great hedge and only use 14 inches of water a year, so they are very environmentally friendly and just happen to be a super fruit, packed full of phytochemicals.



Some of the preliminary studies show that pomegranate juice lowers LDL cholesterol, lowers blood pressure by inhibiting serum angiotensin-converting enzyme, stops dental plaque, and prohibits viral infections.



I just copied all that from Wikipedia, so I have no idea if it is all true, but I am going to start bathing in the juice and rubbing it all over me just in case.



Have you ever seen pomegranates in the store? They are like a $1.50 EACH. I juiced about a 100 pounds yesterday. I can barely move my arm. It hurts so much.

I called my 68 year old neighbor, Jo, and told her I could barely move my arm.

"Andy and I juiced twice as much as you did."

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

"Did I forget to tell you if you quarter them instead of halve them, it's way easier?", Jo informed me.



I let the juice settle overnight, so the pithe goes down to the bottom. Then my new Mormon Gal Pal is coming over with her clan to see how I make jelly.

OMG. I'm the expert now? I've only done this once. THE PRESSURE.

"Are you sure you're not Mormon?", she asked me, jokingly, yesterday. "You cook, and garden, and make jelly, and have a bunch of kids."

"Totally not Mormon.", I told her, "If you had as much caffeine in you as I do, you would be in the hospital."

Should I tell her to quarter them for her juicer? Or just tell her to stick 'em in there whole and put some muscle into it?

She's way younger than me, so she's got some major dues to pay.

Whatcha Gonna Do With All That Money?

Greg is in Michigan with his own set of Lucys. He left yesterday to go to Homecoming at Western Michigan. He's staying SIX days.

"Really? Six DAYS? Does Homecoming last more than one day? Don't you think that's milking it a little?"

"It's all I do, Michele. Are you going to deny me that?"

Okay, he was just in Michigan for seven days in May for a golf outing. But, whatever, it's cool. Because I use this as currency. I put it right in my back pocket and whip it out the next time I scheme a getaway.



Before I drove from Palmdale to L.A. on Saturday morning, I blasted Craigslist with ads on our remaining rental house. I discovered how to manipulate Craigslist so I could keep listing our house over and over, so we would come up first.

Then I decided if Greg was going to be adamant about No Pets, I would market the house as an allergy-free home. I figured there had to be a certain portion of the population who might really NEED a home that has never been smoked in or had pets. So I used the asthma angle and it paid off.

His phone was ringing like crazy all day Saturday and he drug all four kids out to the house three times to show it. It's on the whole other side of town from our house. We ended up renting it to a retired military guy with no pets and no kids. Guaranteed income, oh yeah!

So both the homes are rented. For the first time in nine years, we have a positive cash flow of $2200 per month.

WHATCHA GONNA DO WITH ALL THAT MONEY?

Do you think this means I won't have to eat three day old marked-down ground chuck? Will I get freshly ground sirloin now?

Probably not, huh? But a girl can dream.

So now he's talking about getting a third house. He's getting all greedy.



If Greg would have been home, he would have scored this boat. Someone dumped it in the desert at the end of our street, across from the Crazy Old Widow With The Falling Down Roof.

So Jerry scored it and threw it in the pool to see if it would take on water. It's totally seaworthy. The only thing sloshing around at the bottom of the boat was the beer Jerry spilled.

I am so jealous. I want a boat now that we are rich.

Those Are Freebies

The kids' school has a reward system in place for good behavior. They get a green ticket each day in class if they behave. After receiving 10 tickets, they get to go to the treasure box and pick out a prize.

After about a week of them running out of class with their green tickets and me telling them to put them in their folders in their backpacks, I decided their green tickets were not MY responsibility.

So when prize day came around, some people didn't get to go to the treasure box, because they didn't keep track of their tickets.

Oh, so sad.

They count their tickets in class each day. Sarah counted hers with Mrs. P yesterday and she had seven.



But when she counted them again after dinner, she had ELEVEN.

Mysteriously, Gregory had none, even though he had four at school.

JEEPERS!!!!!

"We used to call those freebies.", Greg said. "I always had like 70 and the other children had two."

I've seen Greg's report cards, so I know he was a behavioral "problem".

"Are you saying you were the best behaved child in class?"

"Nooooooo. I used to steal all the other kids'. That's why those extras are called freebies."

That is so awesome.

Next time the kids are missing tickets, I'll have them look in Greg's pockets.

Driving With The Top Down

Disclaimer: I will never go on a reality television show for whoever guessed I was off pitching the pilot. Ever. Ever. Ever. If I ran out of money, I would live in Jodie's driveway first.

I have a very good friend. Her name is Auntie Jodie Of Disneyland.

Two years ago, my friend Leslie was visiting her mother in Southern California, and taking her daughter Emma Rose to Disneyland, and I invited myself and my four children to join her because I had four free passes that a lady had given me in Trader's, because I looked like "I needed them."

Over a couple days time, Leslie hooked me up with her bestfriend from third grade, Jodie. Jodie lives right by Disneyland. So the plan was hatched to stay in Jodie's fifth wheel, in her driveway, with my large clan. I didn't even know Jodie.

She could have been an axe murderer.

Then Leslie's other friend, Erika, invited herself and her two kids to go to Disneyland too.

Erika used to work with Leslie at United Airlines. Jodie's father used to work at United. To understand these women, you must know that they have the "airline mentality". It's a syndrome. Being able to fly for free effects people's way of thinking. You can go anywhere you want at a drop of the hat. AND THEY DO. And that totally works into my ultimate life goal: Leisure.

So the four of us, from very different backgrounds, have formed a bond. We call ourselves the Lucys, for all the last minute hare-brained Lucille Ball type schemes we are constantly concocting. I highly recommend finding some lady friends who like to travel and will.

In between our vacation scheming, we email each other as many times as 75 times per day. I am not even kidding you. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, and the other three night owls have been going until 2am and I'll have 50 emails in my Inbox.

We have a lot going on. We have Leslie's husband's cancer drama. Jodie was diagnosed last November with multiple sclerosis. So we have MS drama. Erika's daughter has juvenile diabetes. So we have diabetes drama. Then there is MY drama. I am like my own category. We have family drama. Greg drama. Friend drama. Sibling drama. Kid drama.

If you have pissed off any of my Lucys, I know about it. We talk about EVERYTHING.

For example, six months ago, Greg stopped cutting his hair. I have no idea why. He just won't cut his hair. It looks so stupid, I don't even know how to explain it. It looks like a cross between Kramer and Bozo right now. Amanda told him the other day if he had some ears on the top of his head, he'd look like a bear.

So it's not unusual for the Lucys to get an email from me like this:

"If Greg doesn't cut his hair, I'm going to divorce him. I swear, I'm cutting off sex until the hair is cut."

Then Erika will respond, "Way to go, using sex as a weapon. Maybe he thinks he's Samson?"

"Then I'm Delilah.", I told her.

Then Jodie will chime in, "Fred does that too. He looks almost mentally handicapped."

Then Leslie will chime in, "Get his picture. We have to see it. Is he waiting for a coupon?"

So it's these little daily chuckles that make my life so much richer and fun. I cannot even begin to tell you what these three ladies mean to me.

We are there for each other in the good times and the bad times. We hold each other up.

Last week, one of us in our group, got some news that I would liken to driving your car with the top down, enjoying the sunshine and wind blowing through your hair, then running right smack into a FUCKING WALL. It was so shocking.

So we rallied.

It just so happened that Jodie's girls were throwing her and Fred a surprise 25th wedding anniversary party in San Pedro, California on Saturday. That is where I was!!!! The perfect excuse to get together.

So Erika and I started scheming a way to get together. Believe me when I say that if Leslie had been able to leave her gravely ill husband and fly across the ocean from Hawaii to be with us, she would have. But it just wasn't possible. As if it wasn't bad enough that we stole her friend, Jodie, poor Leslie cannot even join us in our schemes half the time.

So on Friday morning, I dressed the kids for school, and I jumped in the car and drove to Palmdale, California and stayed the night with Greg's older brother and wife. Then I got up early on Saturday and drove into L.A, and picked Erika up at LAX, where we had a leisurely breakfast, and then drove to San Pedro and hung out at the fabulous hotel.

It was so delightful. I was really burnt out and needed a getaway anyway.

We were SO EXCITED about the party and the fact I couldn't email, Twitter, or Facebook about it, lest Jodie see it, was excruciating. I almost had to cut my fingers off. Jodie had NO IDEA we were going to be there.
Jodie's girls put the whole entire thing together by themselves. They are 18 and 21.

I cannot believe how well orchestrated the ruse was. Here is Jodie and Fred walking in. They think they are going to a fancy dinner.

Note to my children: Your mother was married in a drive thru wedding chapel and your father got mad at her for super-sizing the bouquet. If you want to do this for me on my 25th birthaversary, then I think that is a great idea.



Oh my gosh. What excitement!

You have never met a couple who love each other more than Fred and Jodie. They got married young. I didn't know them then, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were some naysayers.

Would they last? Was she doing the right thing? What was she THINKING getting married so young? I can only imagine what I would have been saying back then. My sister had to ELOPE to make me shutup about her choice of marrying so young.

Their daughter Stephanie gave this speech. You won't be able to see it, but listen to it. Fred had wrecked his car in the early morning on their wedding day.



But you know what? Fred and Jodie started out with NOTHING, and through their own hard work and love, they raised a family, built a successful business, and have reaped the rewards of sticking it out and making a life together.
I bet she has never ONCE wondered why she was married.

This is what it's all about. Building a life with someone. Starting out and making something together. Raising your family. Those girls are such great kids.

Seeing them together is an affirmation that it's all worth it. All the silly things, like not cutting your hair and looking like Bozo, are but one small part of an overall life. When it's all said and done, what is important is your family.

And Jodie and Fred have an amazing family, full of witty, hilarious, big personalities. I absolutely LOVED getting to know them.

Having our little group together was so great.

So we are going to get back in our Lucy car, put the top down, and keep on cruising, while trying to avoid hitting walls, laughing and crying all the way.

What Happened While I Was Gone

Friday was Twins Day at school. To show school spirit, you were supposed to dress like a classmate.

That's a HUGE problem for us. HA!

Could I have more matching t-shirts?

The problem is that they won't wear them at the same time any longer.

Amanda even pulled this one out of her hat when making an argument against Twin Day.

"Mrs. P said we don't HAVE TO dress alike if we don't want to."

So after a bunch of crying and whining, from me, they wore these darling matching shirts my friend Debra made them several years ago.

This was on Friday before I left on my Top Secret trip.

Here the children are on Sunday at Grammy's house.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ did they wear the same clothes all weekend?

"What did you eat while I was gone?", I asked after noticing what could have been part of their digestive system in the toilet. Talk about DIARRHEA. Sheez.

"We had pizza for dinner. Then hot dogs for dinner. Then hot dogs for lunch. Then pizza again."

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Can you imagine if Greg was the only stay-at-home parent?

Where Is Waldo?

Okay, guys. Here is the deal. I was not in Las Vegas this weekend.

I wasn't even in Nevada.

I had the MOTHER OF ALL LUCY SCHEMES going on and I wasn't allowed to blog about it.

Or Twitter. Or Facebook. It was all TOP SECRET.

The scheme unfolded on Thursday and within 24 hours, I went on the lam.

I cannot wait to tell you all what went down.

But I can tell you what I wasn't doing. I wasn't taking care of kids.

I did spend some time contemplating why all the men at the pool had absolutely NO HAIR on their bodies. I'm talking, I've never seen so much man-scaping. If Greg started waxing, plucking, and shaving right now, in 27 days and one body transplant later, he would look like this.

I actually went back to my hotel room and contemplated shaving my arms. So I shaved my toes instead.

So where was I? Guess.

The winner will get nothing. You'll just be my Super Star.