Santa has yet to ever get them anything that they've used or loved as much as their trampoline. If you added up all the time we've spent in there, it would equal at least a month of their lives. We've read in there. We've laid on our backs and cloud-gazed. We've gotten in in the dark and chased each other, pretending to be monsters. When it gets really cold, they still will go out and bounce, because the black mat heats up in the sun and it's never that cold here.
I kicked the kids out yesterday so I could clean. Greg has been gone 10 days and while I've kept up with the laundry and the meals and the shopping, I hadn't given the house a good cleaning. And it needed it. I needed to change all the beds and give the bathrooms a thorough cleaning. I needed to dust, Windex, and de-clutter.
So I put their new shoes on them and their jackets and showed them the back door and then spent the next 3 hours in a cleaning frenzy, while they would run in and out and in and out and in and out.
Imagine when I finally went outside to round them up for lunch and saw Sarah and Gregory had murdered the trampoline.
They stabbed it with their preschool scissors and then CUT IT.
But not before they cut the safety net and stoned it with bricks. I even found my pizza cutter in there.
I can tell you what, Sarah and Gregory got spankings they may NEVER FORGET. I actually had an out of body experience. I think everyone in the neighborhood heard me. I looked in the mirror today and I actually bit a hole right into my lip with my teeth, because it took that much restraint to only spank them, and not beat the living daylights out of them.
How they ever could cut through that taunt fabric is a mystery.
When I asked (screamed) WHY THEY RUINED THE TRAMPOLINE THAT SANTA GAVE THEM, Sarah said because it was OLD.
Awwwww..... that makes a lot of sense.
I wasn't going to tell Greg. That trampoline cost $500. But I broke down and told him and you know what he said?
"I've got my eye on a new one, twice as big, at Sam's Club. It's going to go on sale any day now. Trampoline season is over. I should be able to pick it up for about $150."
That's great. If you ruin your trampoline, you can get one TWICE AS BIG!
The punishment isn't over here, I can tell that much. They are handing over their Piggy Bank money today, and I'll be sitting in a chair, sipping wine while they stack all those bricks back on the side of the house. After they mow the lawn. And paint the house.
I'm bringing that picture in to Ms. Pam.
"SEE THEY CAN CUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
25 comments:
Unlimited access to scissors indeed...
What makes kids think of these kinds of things? I like the stacking bricks punishment. Are they going to be a chain gang of tiny convicts for halloween?
What about Amanda and Austin? Were they part of it? If not, maybe they should get some kind of treat - that would REALLY make Sarah and Gregory mad.
Oh man...I would have given some pretty good spankings too!!!.
I'm looking at the trampoline at Sams too!. Its a great deal. Jim FINALLY agreed to get them one. I guess I wore him down. I spent the last 4 days telling him how the OT said that would be one of the best things to let Brian do...
OMG...now I know what the trampoline is made out of...always wondered - LOL! They sure CAN cut, Ms. Pam!!!
Sandra
That is hilarious!! I'm sorry, you just write it so well that it's very entertaining. You could have your own sitcom. You beat Jon and Kate Plus Eight. You can't make this stuff up! Wouldn't you just love to have a video camera while they are hatching this whole idea to see how their little minds are ticking....
Where is tattling when you need it? I can't believe none of them came running in the house to say "mooooom soooo and soooo is cutiiiiing the trampolineeeee".
Kids are too funny. Hopefully after their punishments they will think twice before doing this again. Or maybe they will so they can get a trampoline that is 3X as big...lol.
In our house scissors are kept under lock and key. I hate scissors. I bet you do too now!
These are the kinds of stories that will be SO embarrassing for the kids in about 10 years or so! My kids hate it when I tell stories about the antics they pulled off when they were younger. Mom's revenge! Hehehe
ohhhhh myyyyy YOU MUST HAVE BEEN DEEP IN THAT TOILET!! Scrubbing.....lol
I'm glad they weren't my kids,.I'm not sure WHAT I would have done...hummm ohhh boy!
Mercy
can you use iron on patches like they used to use for holes in bluejeans? Or would the las vegas sun make them all gooey. I would be furious as well. Between haircutting and trampolining I would save the under lock and key idea is the least of the punishments they would receive.
I am sorry about your trampoline.
That definitely warrants a spanking, lol! Holy COW that's worse than I thought when you first mentioned "the incident." I guess a picture IS worth a thousand words.
I would buy them the new, bigger trampoline, then tell them they can't use it. But I'm MEAN!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Note to Ms. Pam: Suck it.
Oh! Even I get a sick feeling in my stomach seeing that picture of the trampoline. I was furious the day that mine took scissors to the window screen. I am sure I would have warmed some behinds if I saw the trampoline in tatters. And I'm with you... what have they learned if they are rewarded with a bigger one?
-Melinda
Oh that inner rage is an ugly thing. I do not think the kids will forget this one anytime soon.
Oh no!!! That sucks! Sorry!
The beatings have BEGUN :-) Now you just have to make it to 7 years old and it gets great til they turn 13. Good luck!
Holy cow. I cannot believe they did that!
Lol @ the chain gang comment.
I would have been livid too! I can't believe you bit a hole in your lip though poor mother showing her restraint.
The other day I told my daughter after she did ONE. LAST. THING. she'd better RUN AWAY because I could be responsible for what I was about to do. So I went into the garage and threw stuffed animals at the wall. Grrr now we know why the wild eat they're young...
ho.ly.crap.
Now I know what my mother must have felt like when I took an exacto knife to my dads leather chair. (why an exacto knife was laying around for a 4 year old to accesss is still a mystery)
oh, another cutting story...
when my mother was maybe 6 she cut holes in all of her mother's clothes and blamed it on someone else. Her mom died when she was 8. She's 56 now and still feels so guilty.
I'm going to keep scissors locked up.
Be careful with Ms Pam - you indicated that it was Gregory and Sarah that cut the trampoline and Amanda is the one that Ms Pam seems to think can't use the scissors... this might just give her more justification for her opinion!
Don't worry about it - Greg will still sell it at the next yard sale with some clever marketing.
After high winds threw our trampoline into the gutter (ripping part of it off the house) and tore holes in it, my mom had the genius idea of having an automobile upholstery place sew it and patch it. Just in time for a birthday party with 6-8 12yos jumping on it. Just thought I'd offer one solution . . .
Joselle- OMG, you made me laugh so hard, I just spit water all over my keyboard. Darn it!
Now this is something that could have easily happened at my house. It makes me feel better to see that my kids are not the only ones who think of things like this!
Holy Mother of God. I gasped out loud, threw my hand over my mouth and just imagined how ape shit crazy I would have gone if that had happened at our house. OH MY GOD. They CUT and DESTROYED the trampoline.
Because it was "OLD"?!
Greg would have had to come home and save them. You handled that VERY well, Michele.
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