Today, she had trouble listening again. Miss Vanessa really singled her out and she lost her turn and then Miss Vanessa talked to me after class. I could tell by the way Miss Vanessa was talking to Amanda, that she was trying to get Amanda to look at her. I think she thought maybe Amanda couldn't look at her. I know what she was doing. I've read all the books. I know that children on the autism spectrum can't stare directly back when you speak to them. But then Amanda did look her straight in the face and answered her while staring at her. It's not that Amanda can't look at you, it's just that she won't if you are telling her what to do.
Then I asked Miss Vanessa point blank if she thought Amanda's behavior is normal. I have the luxury of understanding Amanda's behavior in a structured learning environment as a teacher, and not just a mother. Do you know I've been homeschooling the kids for almost a year now? How many people get to homeschool in a structured way with a group of same age peers? I understand exactly what Miss Vanessa is dealing with. I don't think most parents really truly understand how their children learn or follow directions in a classroom environment if they've never taught them or been present during class. I could have easily dismissed what Miss Vanessa was saying to me if I had never seen it firsthand.
Amanda has trouble paying attention. She is easily distracted by others. She cannot focus if anything else is going on. She freezes. She doesn't seem to process information visually. She has trouble following complex directions. She watches everything going on around her, and can't seem to direct her attention to the task she should be doing.
Miss Vanessa didn't think her behavior was out of the realm of normal for a three year old. She did, however, suggest I put her in a class by herself without her siblings. She feels her siblings are a distraction to her and she feels Amanda can't compete with them, so she doesn't. I couldn't agree more with her on that.
I left the groceries on the counter in bags while I enrolled her in a class by herself. We will be spending Tuesday evenings by ourselves in a Rhythm and Movement class, which is unstructured dance. Perfect for Amanda. Greg has agreed to start taking her out by herself on Tuesday mornings too.
You know, I just fell into homeschooling them. It's not something I ever even thought about. I just happened to start doing it. I don't even remember why. But you can find us on most evenings gathered around the kitchen table "doing school". Here we were last night painting lights on Christmas trees.
Not only do I enjoy it, I've learned so much more about my children. Hopefully, I'll be able to use that information to help them. The other bonus is I get to drive Greg absolutely crazy hanging stuff on his walls.
These aren't THAT big, Daddy! Notice how Amanda's Santa doesn't have any eyes? She didn't pay attention long enough to put the eyes on.
So Tuesdays are going to be for Amanda.
Her behavior sounds so much like any one of mine - at any point in time. That's great that she'll be taking a class, on her own, one day a week. I really think that our kids could benefit from something like that too, so they aren't always part of the "pack".
ReplyDeleteFrom your post yesterday - William has done SO much better sleeping in his own room. We moved him out last year and then moved him back in again, just before the baby was born. Bed time was a DISASTER. Once we moved him in to his own room again, he's done great. AND the girls are the ones that are up gabbing and playing. Those girls. So darn chatty. I don't know where they get it...
Michelle - I love seeing pictures of all the crafts you do with the kids. I wish I had more time to do stuff like that with the boys.
ReplyDeleteI tried the homeschooling and liked it but just couldn't fit it in my already overfilled day!. Maybe if I tried to get by on 3 hrs sleep instead of 6....nah - I'll stick with 6.
That's great that you have Amanda in her own class, I'm sure she'll love it. Some of the things you describe sound so much like Brian. Jim and I have decided to start doing things with the boys separately to give them each some one on one time. They can definitely use it.
I would love to try to work with Lexie but seriously wit all of Camerons therapy and the hellish daycare kids, I just cant find the time. But she goes to preschool two days a week, and is in gymnastics and tap and ballet.
ReplyDeleteComing from a family where attention issues are common, I can tell you that one of my daughters clearly has some of these traits.
ReplyDeleteBut I just want to comment that along with some of these attention issues, one often also see a lot of wonderful, bright creative traits, where imagination and ingenuity more than make up for the difficulty that some kids have with attention.
Amanda might just be one of those genius kids! (of course we all know every one of our kids is a genius... but you know what I mean!)
Tuesdays will be so much fun! I would love to have a day for each one of my three. I think they all deserve so much more individual time than they actually get.
ReplyDeleteNow, I have a question for you since I know you have your MD. Homeopathic remedy for sinus infection. Anything? Please? I keep getting these gnarly sinus infections and I cant seem to make them stop. I hate taking antibiotics so often as I feel they can do more harm than good, but I need something to help. What do you think? Anything? Help.
Michelle I have to tell you that due to nap difficulties I was about to drop my boys from their preschool class and the administrator said that if I wanted she had two openings in the a.m but they were in different classes. I said why not try it. I was afraid that whoever I switched would feel left out or punished. I was sooooo wrong and it was just the opposite and I have had comments almost every day at how much better they are doing. Actually focusing on tasks and such. It is a pain for me but I am only mom so I just suck it up.
ReplyDeleteWhen we do our home school projects I choose some to with the both of them and then do certain ones individually so that they will focus on accomplishing the task. It works so much better for them and I enjoy the schooling them. You’re totally right about learning more about your children’s behaviors when in that type of setting by doing the school or even just projects with them...
As always, I am impressed with your ability to jump into action. The teacher suggests a separate class and voila, Amanda is in a separate class! Very impressive! I can't wait to hear how she does.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who went through school in the same class with my brother, I am an advocate for giving siblings an opportunity to be individuals.
I also want to point out that the Santa on the right is missing the left leg and the left eye. Hmm... what is going on there?
Mary Kate
http://babytoddleretc.wordpress.com
I miss Miss Vanessa. She was the one to point out that Wyatt acts like he does (crazy man who doesn't listen to directions, but in a cute harmless way) because he knows I am sometimes too busy to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteThat woke me up and now I make a serious effort to give him concequences. It takes a brave person to tell another how they can parent better/more effectively.
I am sure Amanda will love her chance to shine.
Great, Michele. As always, I am impressed with how tuned in you are to your kids, and willing to get them what they need individually (though they showed up as a unit!).
ReplyDeleteLeslie
Tammie- I have a head cold right now. I'm using Zicam and Umcka and I'm not even taking Motrin. Normally I'd be dying. I'm totally functional. You can get the Umcka at Vitacost.com and it's half the price it is in the health food stores. You need to take some probiotics to get you over all the antibiotics too. I would also add Nature's Way Primadophilus Reuteri so you keep from getting knocked down over and over. You can get that at Vitacost too for half the price of the store!
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog for several months...found it through Foursillysisters.
ReplyDeleteI am a retired 1st grade school teacher. You appear to be doing an excellent job home-schooling your children. Keep up the good work!!!
ps...I love your sense of humor...
Kit Harland
Cleveland, Ga
I've got attention issues in my kids too. It runs in my husband's family, so I knew what to watch out for. Two of my kids have the exact symptoms you described. I have to echo "pann" who said they usually exhibit other signs of creativity because their brains are wired differently. Unfortunately, traditional school can be hard for them, so I am planning on doing some homeschooling too. You've read so many books... have you read any on ADD?
ReplyDelete-Melinda
Melinda- yes, I've read a lot about ADD and ADHD. I would not be surprised in the least if she will someday have this (they don't really diagnose this young as I'm sure probably know). I agree with you and Pann that she is very creative in a totally different way. She can hear a song one or two times and sing all the lyrics, yet she knows less letters of the alphabet by sight than her 2.5 year old brother. She is just totally wired differently like you both have said. She is very creative. She'll tell a big long story that is incredibly thought out, but can't sit through dinner without spontaneously falling off her chair. Funny how that works! I'm not ruling out anything as far as her future education. I will do what I need to do!
ReplyDeleteThanks Michelle. I appreciate the info. My nose thanks you.
ReplyDeleteI think it is commendable that you make time to work with your children, they are very lucky. But, don't forget, they are only three. Those art projects all look pretty typical to me.
ReplyDeleteYes, but just look at Sarah's Santa! I KNEW that was Sarah's!!
ReplyDeleteSarah, like Emma Rose, is the perfect, direction-following child. PDFC.
Leslie